So You Want to Be a Leader? Part 4: Who vs. Do
In last months' blog I mentioned that I don't know much about ice hockey, and rarely watch it. Same is true for soccer (as we call it in the States). But this summer I was able to catch a few matches during the World Cup (congratulations to my friends in Spain!) Similar to ice hockey, once again, the goalie, caught my attention, especially in the final World Cup game. I was amazed at the number of saves by the goalie from Argentina. He had to be the MVP in my estimation, except for the fact that his team lost.
Once again this reminded me of what many of you do every day in your lives. At work, at home, in your communities. You work hard, and may have amazing results, but still at times don't win. Perhaps the loss is a promotion, a job or a valued employee resigning. Reminding us, once again, that we can't always win. In fact, if that was true, it would make winning boring. Losing is part of life. And if we aren't losing or failing, we probably aren't taking enough risk and playing it too safe.
The tricky thing about losing is not to get our "who" and our 'do" confused. Who we are, is not what we do. And when our who and do get confused, it can lead to thinking I am a faliure versus I failed. I am a mistake, versus I made a mistake.
So how can we guard against this kind of thinking? Here are a few suggestions:
Perspective
As a fabulous former manager once told me, remember that you are never as good as your numbers (results) and never as bad as your numbers. So if you had great results, don't be too proud, and if you had poor results, don't be too hard on yourself. In both instances, it isn't a complete reflection of your work.
"Be Curious, Not Judgmental" - Ted Lasso
Purpose
Start or continue to focus on your purpose in life. Purpose is the context of our lives (the how) vs the content (the what). And living more on purpose also leads us to be more internally validated and less externally validated, therefore, less dependent on what others think of us (give me a call if you want to learn more about purpose).
"I suppose the best brand is being yourself" - Ted Lasso
Persist
Don't give up! If you need to take a break, take it. If you need to clear some emotions, find a great listener and do it. Then leverage this breakdown to create something new (just like you learned in our Managing Corporate Change© and Advanced Advanced Women Moving Forward® workshops).
"Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse. If you are comfortable while you are doing it, you are probably doing it wrong." - Ted Lasso
Most importantly, remember to mind your nets, and mind the gap (one of my favorite sayings from the UK). In otherwords, take care of yourselves. We have to be the healthiest person in the room (mind/body/spirit) in order to stand in the gap with all the same skills of strength, strategy, balance, and the mental resilience of a goalie!
PS: And speaking of soccer, since Ted Lasso season four recently launched, I like to finish with one more of my favorite quotes:
"The best leaders are the ones who learn to lead themselves first." - Ted Lasso